Mamatoto Birthing

The Benefits of Hiring a Doula - Guest Blog

2022-04-24T09:00:00

My blog today is written by the lovely Kimberley Boyd, doula, hypnobirth instructor and all round birthing womens champion! We connected when I moved up to Lincolnshire and have worked together on a few things. I am an absolutely massive advocate of hiring a birth doula, my eldest's birth while my husband and I were informed, we were coerced during birth and have quite a traumatic birthing experience. With the births of our second and third babies we hired a doula and in all honesty the difference was amazing, knowing we had someone there to support us, fight our corner if needed and protect our birth space was invaluable. That's my 2 pence worth so I'll now pass on to Kimberley the expert...

You may have heard the word 'Doula' before, (maybe it's a totally new discovery for you) but a lot of people are still unsure of what a doula is and does.

A doula is someone (usually a woman) who is a trained professional providing emotional, physical and educational support to women/birthing people and their families before, during and after the birth of their baby. She is not medically trained and does not replace your midwives and doctors or work for the NHS but is hired independently by the woman/couple. She does not advise or tell you what to do but can support you to find good evidence-based information to enable you to make your own informed decisions on what is right for you and your family at each stage of your journey.

The service doulas offer can vary greatly between each client she works with and their individual needs. Some doulas work just as birth support, some just as postnatal support and some offer a complete package of support for all stages. A lot of doulas come with a wealth of knowledge and other qualifications such as hypnobirthing/antenatal education, aromatherapy, pregnancy yoga/massage, baby yoga/massage and mental health training.

A birth doula supports all kinds of birth at home, in birth centres and consultant led hospitals. From waterbirth to caesarean birth and everything in between, there is no one way to birth and no agenda or criteria from the doula. Her aim is to enable you to have a more positive birth experience and get the best outcome for you - which is different for every woman/birthing person. She provides continuous support for the woman (and their birth partners) throughout the pregnancy with various meetings, helping prepare the couple for the birth and exploring all of their options, talking through any fears and directing to information/services to support the pregnancy all while building a trusting relationship. She is then with them through your whole labour and the immediate postnatal time. She offers many comfort measures to the woman and is a guide on your path to birth, she holds and protects your space, she empowers and comforts, massages and holds, reassures and encourages you all while explaining events and sharing information with your birth partners to support them too. Following the birth she can assist in the intial bonding with your baby, help initiate breastfeeding and admiring the amazing work you have just done in bringing your baby into the world. To be in the presence of this is an absolute honour and priviledge. A sacred space to be invited into and treasured always.

The presence of a birth doula has shown huge benefits towards a more positive birth experience...

Women cared for during labour by a birth doula compared to those received standard care were:

26% less likely to give birth by caesarean
41% less likely to give birth with ventouse or forceps
28% less likely to use any analgesia or anaesthetic
33% less likely to be dissatisfied or negatively rate their birth experience

Postnatally a doula supports the family in the early weeks/months following the birth of a baby. The "Fourth Trimester," the term given to the period of transition from womb to world for your baby and recovery from birth for the woman - up to 12weeks postpartum. She serves you in whatever way you need, just as with the birth, she is led by you and meets the needs of each individual client differently, the length of time she supports a family may vary also.

Some things a postnatal doula may be able to provide to you is someone to talk to, a doula is a good listener and holds space for you to be heard and express any worries you have. She is a guide in your new role as parents, offering practical support in all parenting tasks.She can help around the house to enable you to rest and recover and focus on your baby. She is usually trained in breastfeeding support and can troubleshoot and encourage/reassure you on your breastfeeding journey. A doula will have strong links with other local services and professionals in your area too for signposting to when needed/requested. As always she provides evidence-based information for the parents to make their own informed decisions around parenting and encourage you to do things your way, never telling you how you should be doing things.

Unlike a maternity nurse, the doula is not there to care for the baby for you all the time but to support you to be the parent you want to be and to care for you.

Having a postnatal doula has been proven to lower rates of postnatal anxiety/depression and improve rates of initiating and establishing breastfeeding.

I genuinely believe that every woman/family can benefit from having a birth and/or postnatal doula to support you through one of your biggest life changing events.

"Whenever and however you give birth, your experiences will impact your emotions, your mind, your body and your spirit for the rest of your life" - Ina May Gaskin

Value yourself, value your birth and value your experiences, you are worth it and you will thank yourself for years to come that you did everything you could to ensure you had a positive birth experience.

Kimberley x

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My post dates homebirth after a cesarean (HBAC)

2021-10-26T19:39:00

And just like that, the fourth trimester is over and my (not so) little boy is 12weeks old!

It's so cliche but I have literally no idea where the time has gone, it went fast after H bomb's birth but this was a whole other level.

In that time we've moved house, Jay's been working away, we've had 2 hospital stays, 1 A&E dash, a last minute operation, H and C starting at new school and nursery and also starting a new job, now I write it down like this it's very clear to see where our time's gone!

Back to the title of this post though, Ioan Gareth Ruddock's birth. We'd planned homebirths for all of our children but only achieved it with Ioan's. I was classed as 'High Risk,' during pregnancy with Ioan as with C I'd ended up with an emergency cesarean birth and even though I'd had a successful vaginal birth with H (VBAC) a lot of trusts will class all births after a cesarean as high risk. This didn't bother me too much as I'd navigated the system before when pregnant with H, albeit it at a different trust.

The pregnancy was a dream, being pregnant during the second lockdown of 2020 had its challenges but it meant we had more time together as a family and to prepare our girls for a new baby. We also decided to do a refresher hypnobirthing course with Nicki from Bold Birthing . I've known Nicki since she booked in with me when she was pregnant with her second little one for her placenta remedies (she's a MASSIVE advocate of placenta smoothies!) and we gelled straightaway and loved talking about all things birth and birth rights related! Even though I trained as a hypnobirthing instructor and this was our third baby we still learned so much and were confident and positive about our little one's birth. Another thing we were adamant about was that we wanted to give birth with a doula. After searching for a few days and asking for recommendations we found Sian.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, working with a doula when you're pregnant is some of the best money you will ever spend. Sian was absolutely amazing, and from the first time we met at our house (I knew we were going to get on as soon as she walked in with a Betty Ratbag tote!) she created a gentle and calm atmosphere around us, just what we wanted for our homebirth.

Fastforward (which it really did!) to my due date. We'd booked in with the amazing Bedford Blossom homebirth team and all of my antenatal appointments had been at home with the wonderful Jessica, she knew I had a tendency to go postdates and never once brought up the issue of induction (C's birth had been a "failed" induction and H's was induced in hospital) as she knew it wasn't what I wanted. As I reached 42 weeks (as I knew all through pregnancy I probably would) doubt started to creep in and this was compounded when I went to the local hospital for monitoring (some trusts recommend you go for monitoring after 42weeks, you can decline if you want). Monitoring showed all was good with me and my baby but then the dreaded talk with the registrar.

"Why didn't you come in for a scan when you reached 41 weeks?" I hadn't even been invited for one.

"Why haven't you had another blood count done?" Again, I hadn't been invited for one.

And the suckerpunch "You weren't able to birth your other babies without induction drugs, what makes you think you'll be able to with this one?"

Bang. It was like he'd read my mind and knew the one thing I was doubting myself on. What if my body couldn't physically go into labour on its own?

This broke me for a while, and I started contemplating the fact that our baby might be born in hospital. It was at this point that my village really came into force. They say it takes a village to raise a baby, well it also takes one to help bring a baby Earthside too. Sian who'd been an amazing support via Whatsapp the whole time I was at the hospital was on hand for a great pep talk, as were a few more people I've met and worked with in the birthing world (you know who you are!) And that was it, big girl pants were pulled up and we were back on track, I would not be being induced and my labour would start naturally, my body was made to do this.

1st August, 42+3, we decided to take the girls out and have a yomp around Hitchin Lavender (I love lavender, I was so obsessed with it in my second pregnancy that H's name was nearly Lavender!) It poured down, H had a tantrum because she didn't like the "wet grass touching her with its fingers," and C insisted that she and I had to trek to the top of the field (I'm sure a lot of people's day was brightened by seeing a VERY heavily pregnant woman chasing her 5yr old up the lavender field huffing and puffing!)

Back home and something felt different, not just physically but mentally too, like something was shifting. The pains down the back of my legs which I'd thought were from the walk were actually feeling like how I experience period pain. I didn't think much of it and carried on getting the girls ready for bed. The pains carried on and were accompanied by rhythmic pressure just under my bump. H decided she wanted me to read There's A House Inside My Mummy (the book we bought the girls to tell them they would be big sisters), the pressure continued throughout and while I cwtched the girls to sleep.

When the girls were asleep it was as if things kicked up a notch, like my body knew. I shouted down to Jay to get the pool inflated and get the dinner on (always remember to fuel for labour!) I had a shower during which the episodes of pressure seemed to be closer together and then went downstairs to fajitas and we watched Jojo Rabbit while I did figure of 8s on my birthing ball (quite a feat with a plate of fajitas in hand!) Once finished I thought it would be a good idea to time these surges so I downloaded the Freya app. After 20mins of timing them and having to breathe through a few of them, the app announced I was in active labour. No! There's no way I could be in active labour! With my other births I'd had days of this, only for me to wake up the next day to nothing. Jay thought it might be time to call the midwife, I wasn't so sure it was time yet so we compromised and called Sian. Sian arrived at 2230, I was still coping quite well, I must have looked a right sight though, an oversized Betty Ratbag tshirt, disposable maternity pants, bedsocks and wrapped in a blanket as I'd started having the shakes for some reason. Sian observed me having a few surges and then we all agreed we should call the midwife. The lovely Jess arrived not long after 2300 and asked how I was doing, I asked for a VE, I put in my birth plan that I didn't want them but after days of stop start labour with the girls I wanted to know whether I was progressing. When Jess said that I was 5cm dilated I burst into tears, I'd never got this far on my own before, I was actually doing this! My baby was going to be born at home! By now the birth pool was full, Jay lit some candles, put some music on and turned the projector on (I'd highly recommend getting one of these whether you're having a home or hospital birth). Time to get in the zone.

Timings get a little hazy from now (talk about time distortion!) as I concentrated on my hypnobirthing breathing, I know that Rebekah the on call midwife arrived and introduced herself but I was more or less left to it which is exactly what I wanted. Jess and Rebekah were so unobtrusive when they were monitoring me after surges that I hardly even noticed. As my surges got more powerful, I used gas and air and held Sian and Jay's hands as they gave me encouragement, fed me coconut water and lucozade and stroked my back. The weirdest thing was it wasn't the surges that were most painful it was a cramp I was getting in my groin immediately after a surge which made my leg shoot out from underneath me, it must have looked like I was trying to sprint out of the pool!

I felt a 'pop' and knew my waters had gone, this was another thing I was worried about as in my 2 previous births there had been thick meconium and I know that if that happened this time then I would be strongly advised to transfer in to hospital. Luckily Jess checked and said it was only very thin meconium which is quite common in postdates births and baby and I were doing really well.

After my waters had gone, I started feeling the urge to push towards the end of my surges and I was worried my baby was back to back, Jess told me not to worry and to go with what my body wanted to do. At that point all I remember thinking was that I needed a wee! I'm not sure how many people it took to get me out of the pool but I know it was a few! I have never been so happy to have a downstairs loo, there was no way on Earth I'd have been able to crawl up the stairs.

After going to the loo and not even being able to sit down I struggled to walk back into the living room and was very vocal about it (hello transition!) With every surge I instinctively put my arms round Jay's neck and squatted down, I could actually feel baby moving down with every push. After a while Rebekah recommended changing position so his head could navigate my pelvis, from somewhere, Jay produced the toilet step H used when she was a toddler and so in a weird half-squat-half-kneel I carried on pushing. All of a sudden I was being told not to push as his head was crowning and on the next surge at 0508am 2nd August, 42+4 weeks, 10lb 2oz Ioan Gareth Ruddock was born, at home on the living room floor. There was no feeling like it.

'Guesstimated' due dates

2020-08-09T17:08:00

39weeks: - So! You’re pregnant and the end is insight, you can almost smell the sweet smell of the top of your baby’s head and can’t wait to hold them in your arms.

40weeks: - Eeek! It’s nearly time! They’ll be here soon! Hospital bag is by the door, you’ve got your birth preferences printed out, baby’s going home outfit packed and the tiny little newborn nappies that make you want to cry when you look at them

40weeks 3days: - Well bubba’s obviously just comfy in there! No, great-aunty Joan, baby’s not here yet, yes of course I’ll let you know when they make an appearance.

40weeks 5days: - Starts Googling “is it possible to be pregnant forever?”

41weeks 2days: - deletes all social media accounts, DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME!!!

That magical date has been in your diary and etched on your brain since your first scan, you excitedly took to social media to announce the date your little bundle would arrive (more on this later!) and crossed weeks off your calendar.

But now your due date has come and gone you’re feeling less than magical. I know this feeling all too well, my girls were born at 42+4 and 42+1 respectively and my little boy was born at 42+4. I hurt, I ached, I wanted to punch sweet old people who dared to smile at me and ask me when I was due.

It’s so hard to see your due date come and go, especially as a first time mum but the thing to remember is only 4% of babies are born on their due dates. ‘Term’ is classed as anything from 37weeks up to 42weeks which means you have a due month! So even if you reach and pass 40week your baby’s not classed as late. The average gestation for a first time mum to give birth at 41+1 and mums who are on their second or subsequent babies at 40+6.

And anyway, what are we basing this on? It does seem strange that we hold on to this magical date and hold so much stock in it when most of us are unsure about where it comes from. The calculation is called Naegele’s Rule and was devised by Professor of Obstetrics Franz Naegele in 1812. It is based on a 28 day menstrual cycle and with ovulation happening on day 14. If anyone has tracked their cycle before they’ll know that there can be a lot of variation to this. My cycles have always been 30-34 days long and think this might have led to my longer than average pregnancies.

In the UK, most trust will offer a membrane sweep to “nudge things along” at around 40weeks and then induction of labour at 41+5. I use the word “offer,” purposefully as this, as with anything else in pregnancy and labour is a choice and you can say no. A membrane sweep involves your midwife/consultant inserting their finger into your cervix and then ‘sweeping’ their finger around to separate the baby’s amniotic sac from your cervix, this is supposed to release prostaglandins which can encourage labour. It can be painful and lead to cramping and slight bleeding and could inadvertently rupture your membranes.

If you do reach 42weeks (only 7% of pregnancies will) and you would still like to refuse induction you should be offered expectant management which involves extra checks including scans to check placenta function, cord blood flow and the amount of fluid you have (scans to estimate baby’s size at this point have a large margin for error). Everything is your choice.

If there’s one piece of advice I’d give to first time mums, it would be to give your nearest and dearest a “due month” (and maybe move it forward a few days!) There’s nothing worse than when you’re trying to relax waiting for bubba to arrive at 40+3 and Tracey your third cousin twice removed (you saw her last at a christening 11years ago) texts saying she can’t wait to come and meet your baby (best wear a carnation for recognition though as there’s no way she’d be able to pick you out of a line up!)

And also remember – medical advice, it just that, advice, it’s up to you whether you follow it or not. Inform yourself, do your research, and decide from there.

Rach xx

Me at 42 weeks with my first Me at 42weeks with my second

In search of the elusive jujube fruit

2020-07-11T11:30:00

Wow it's been a long time since I last wrote a blog post! When I first set my business up I thought, "yeah, I'll easily be able to write a blog post once a week."

2 weeks later.

"maybe a monthly post will be more doable."

6 months later.

"is annual blogging a thing?"

Anyway, I'll attempt to (try!) to put aside a couple of hours a month(ish) to actually put pen to paper (my laptop's currently in bits at PC World, don't ask!) and write through what I've been upto, things I've learnt and things that are running though my ADHD-addled mind.

So firstly, to explain the title of this post. You might have seen from my Instagram post a few months back that I'd been reading The First Forty Days by Heng Ou

This book gives a great insight into the Chinese tradition of Zuo Yuezi or "Sitting the Month," where new mothers are cared for and looked after in the first forty days following birth. A big part of this is with the use of warming, nourishing food and drink. Food has always been a big part of my life (something to celebrate? Let's have some food! Not feeling 100%? Get some chicken and garlic soup on the go!) and this book showed my a way I could incorporate food and its healing properties into my work.

My 'Let's get this done,' attitude ran away with itself as soon as I put the book down. I was going to set my own Mamatoto postpartum food delivery service up! After a few minutes I started thinking realistically, with 2 under 4s running round, a husband who works away a lot AND a full time job I was never going to be able to turn into Delia Smith-type-doula meals on wheels overnight! So I thought I'd start small and decided on restorative postnatal herbal teas, they'd be easy to prepare and pop on the stove to steep whilst I got my kit together for a call out.

The perfect opportunity to try out my postnatal teas presented itself when a very dear friend booked in with me to have her placenta encapsulated. I asked her if she'd like me to prepare some recovery and breastfeeding supporting teas and she thought it was a great idea. Now to choosing the right recipes.

I decided on fennel and nettle, hibiscus, ginger and cinnamon, and goji berry and jujube. Jujube fruit is known as Chinese red date and is a very important component of Zuo Yuezi so how could I possibly put together a postnatal package without it? Easier said than done! All other ingredients were sourced within minutes (thank you Indigo Herbs and Wholefoods!) whereas jujube fruit was proving rather difficult. I managed to find a supplier but after I placed my order found out that they were a wholesalers and the original seller had closed down. I managed to find another seller on Amazon ('m not the biggest fan of Amazon usually and prefer to use independent sellers ) with a delivery date of 2 days time, winner as my friend wasn't due for 3 weeks. Next day I wake to find my delivery date has been pushed back 2 weeks!

After 2 weeks of worrying, trying to find alternatives (there aren't!) and hoping my friend's little one didn't arrive early, my longer for jujubes turned up! They are the red plum-looking fruit in the above photo.

As if by fate, my friend went into labour the next day and her beautiful little girl made her way Earthside in a calm and beautiful home waterbirth (I actually cried when I received her message!)

I am so honoured to be invited into a family's birthing space and no matter how many times it happens, it completely blows me away everytime. The atmosphere is electric, almost other wordly. My friend has booked was a placenta smoothie so while she had cwtches with her little one on the sofa I popped her teas in the fridge and set to work on her smoothie (I LOVE it when my clients book in for a placenta smoothie as I know this is the best way to get maximum available nutrient but that's a blog post for another day!)

So, that's my first step towards becoming an all singing, all dancing doula-Delia Smith postnatal meals on wheels! I loved it and hearing how much my friend is enjoying them I'm seriously thinking about permanently added them to my list of services.

Mamatoto postnatal teas has quite a ring to it don't you think?!

Rachael xx

This is what I was born to do

2019-01-19T22:48:00

Even though this is a happy post and I'm still smiling about it all I'm probably going to cry writing it. I've got so much passion and emotion for what I do and when I connect with a couple and am able to help them at any point in their pregnancy journey it just swells my heart.

In the last 4 weeks I've had my first 2 Mamatoto babies born! The first was my hypnobirthing couple who had a gorgeous little boy and the second was a dear friend from back home (dear God I miss Wales so much!) who had her beautiful rainbow baby.

My hypnobirthing couple were just amazing from the first meeting, they worked together as a team so well! As they are quite young it became apparent they were getting a lot of 'advice,' from various people, not all of it helpful! So it was amazing to be able to teach them techniques that would make this advice bounce off them with a smile on their faces! I felt really emotional after our final class as I knew the next time I saw them they would have had their baby! And sure enough a few weeks later (a couple of weeks before their due date) I had a message saying baby J had arrived in the most perfect way! I was on cloud 9 for them! It wasn't just the fact that they'd had a great birth, it was the fact that they knew their rights and their choices and completely rocked their birth. I was lucky enough to be invited into their happy birth bubble when they were at home and it was great to see that their hypnobirthing traininng was still having so much of an effect, these were some seriously chilled out parents and 1 amazingly chilled baby! Mum even mentioned she was ready for another one!

My friend's story wasn't as straightforward as my hypnobirthing couple's. I've know Miss S for over 15years and as soon as I met her it just lept out how maternal she was and what an amazing mum she would make. She excitedly told me she was pregnant a few years back, her 12weeks scan came and went without a problem and then at her 20week scan she and her husband were told the absolutely crushing news that their baby Chip had spina bifida and was not meant for this world. Miss S and her husband chose to have a medical termination and baby Chip was born sleeping. Following on from this, Miss S endured a heartbreaking miscarriage. Fast forward a few months and Miss S reached out to me and told me she was 26weeks pregnant! She explained that after how medicalised Chip's birth was that she wanted this birth to be as natural as possible. This is where I thought hypnobirthing could play a massive part in helping her. Not long after Christmas I sent Miss S a 'labour pack' of things I'd found useful whilst hypnobirthing on my last birth. And the day after she recieved it she went into labour and birthed her beautiful boy in water and without pain relief! No one could have deserved a perfect birth more than Miss S and I cried when I found out about her birth.

As cheesy as it sounds (and I'm cringeing as I type this) I feel like this is my calling. If I can help couples through their pregnancy and birth journey and have a positive effect on them then that is the highest high I can feel. When I was growing up I also said I wanted to do a job that made a difference and the biggest difference you can make is going right back to the start, to birth. Because it's not just babies that are born, mothers and families are too.

Rach x

What do adults talk about these days?

2019-01-01T22:48:00

So... the time has come to return to the world of adulting. After 12 months of maternity leave (it can't be that long can it? I swear I only gave birth a month ago) I'm going back to work full time. Although it's to a new job. And a new area. And a new house. My stomach's doing somersaults just thinking about it.

Being in the military I thought I'd gotten used to having to move every few years but it's so much more stressful and emotional now we're a family. We've found the girls a lovely childminder though so at least that's sorted.

Also, what do grown-ups actually talk about nowadays??? I think the deepest conversation I've had in the past month is with my 2 year old about why she's started sniffing her dad's socks. I'm really hoping my adult brain will kick in when it needs to and operate on a higher level than being able to distinguish between which of my darling daughters has pooped on smell alone (a knack I'm strangely proud of).

What's really bending my head though is the mum guilt about going back, am I doing the right thing? Will the girls still be mummy's girls? I really hope when they both grow up they'll realise I always tried my best for them and did what I thought was right.

Anyone else get these feelings on going back to work after maternity leave?

My tiny army mutiny

2018-12-13T10:00:00

Well, where to start? This is my first time ever blogging so please bear with me! I was going to start with how magical and nourishing to the soul being a mother is, but not today, not after today. The day which culminated in me having a public meltdown in Starbucks and sobbing into my oat milk decaff toffee nut latte (no matter how much I need the caffeine, I have a baby that I’ll be peeling off the ceiling if I so much as sniff caffeine).

Whether this is your first, second or 23^rd baby, this shit is hard! We’d just been to my eldest’s dance class (I signed her up thinking I was the epitome of middle-class yummy mummy, I’m not, and the real ones can smell me out a mile off) and as the familiar tunes started, my dear darling daughter decided now was not the time for dancing, now was the time to revolt. I was hit, her sister was pushed/headbutted/had a dance ribbon poked in her eye whilst all of the other mums danced about with their little cherubs and tried to ignore when my eldest bared her teeth at them.

Days like today are hard, doubly hard when you’ve got it into your head that you have to be the ‘perfect’ parent. But when you sit and think about it, your children aren’t perfect 24/7 so why do you need to be? At least that’ll be what I’ll be clinging to tonight as I’m no doubt crying into my Pinot Grigio again!